Hidden Strength

I have really been struggling here lately. I feel like every day with my food addiction is a battle and I have been losing far more often than winning here lately. I feel weak and defeated. But, I have to remember, its in those moments when my strength is gone, that I must fully lean on my Heavenly Father. I was reminded of a devo I wrote a while back for a WLS site a friend asked me to write some for. I hope it blesses your heart as re-reading it has blessed mine.

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-10

When are you weakest? Is it when you walk into the office and see someone has brought doughnuts? Is it when you have had a fight with your spouse? Is it when your three year old has colored on the floor for the third time that day? Is it when you are at a Christmas party and everyone is noshing on appetizers? For me….its all of the above! Its taking me years to recognize it and be able to admit it, but I am addicted to food. I eat when I am sad, happy, stressed, mad, depressed…..I just love to eat…to the point where I feel unstoppable at times. When something good happens, my first thought is what can I eat to celebrate. When something bad happens, my first thought is what can I put in my mouth to fill the ache inside. I think about food constantly. What am I going to cook today? What am I going to eat next? When my kids are whining or wild, I find myself in the kitchen opening cabinets and the fridge looking for something to eat, anything to eat.

But its in those moments I have to remember, Christ’s power is made perfect in my weakness. I have often wondered why He has allowed this struggle in my life. I am slowly coming to realize it keeps me dependent on Him. We are never told what Paul’s thorn is, but I think I am glad the Lord didn’t disclose that. Because it has allowed this passage to mean different things to different people. We can all draw strength from Paul’s words as we deal with our own thorns. For me, and I know some of you, that thorn is, and will always be food addiction. I don’t have the answer, I don’t know how to conquer it. But I do know one thing, when I am at my weakest, Christ is at His strongest. So, I will keep battling it, asking each morning for enough grace to sustain me for the day.